Gratitude

Bruce has been sick all week. When he finally left the house, it was to walk across the street to go have some blood work done. As we slowly made our way through the mall, for the first time in 35 years, I saw my husband vulnerable. Bruce has always been very healthy. He rarely gets sick. Watching him spend the last week in bed, struggling to just sit up long enough to eat some lunch, I reflected on how grateful I am that we have both been blessed with healthy bodies. How grateful I am to have had so many opportunities to enjoy life with Bruce by my side. Life is so incredibly fragile. My father died of cancer at age 50. I watched as cancer robbed  him of his independence. In just a few months my father went from being a man who was up before the sun, washing his car, mowing the lawn, and cleaning the house before most of us were even out of bed, to not even being able to lift a glass to his mouth. I was young when my father died. That was over 31 years ago. Since then, I have learned many lessons about life, both in my professional life as a nurse and in my private life.  I have watched loved ones age, I have seen patients riddled with cancer struggling just to breathe, I have sat by the bedside and held the hand of loved ones, as well as patients, as they have taken their last breath. What I have come to understand is, just how fragile our health is. We are subject to illness, disease and trauma that can rob us of even the simple joy of going for a walk in the sunshine. I remember the day before my father died he asked me to take him outside so that he could sit in the sun. That last request has burned an indelible imprint on my heart. Many a day when I find myself sitting in my favorite spot at Laguna Beach and I feel the warm sun on my face I reflect on that last request of my fathers. As Bruce and I took that short walk through the mall and I watched as he painfully took each step, I thanked my Heavenly Father for this wonderful companion, and for all the walks we've taken, all the sunsets we've watched, all the places we've traveled. I am grateful that this is merely a virus and that Bruce will recover. I am grateful for this past week and that once again Heavenly Father has reminded me of all that I have to be grateful for. We see these reminders everyday in Africa, but that is for another post.